I walked through the door with you
by gargz
Summary: "Please Finn, please just come to New York." Her tears become a silent cry. As Finn just sits back in silence. Takes place directly after what happens after last nights episode and leading up to the Wedding. Post 4x11. Finchel


**A/N: This was inspired by last nights episode and the wedding episode coming. Post 4x11**

**Barely inappropriate with just enough angst. **

**Originally posted on my tumblr.**

* * *

Things with Brody fizzle out almost as soon as they start. A part of her wants to blame Quinn and Santana for showing up and injecting their opinion's but that's not really the only issue. She likes Brody she really does, he's talented and sexy and he likes her, which Santana is quick to point out should not be the only reason to like someone back.

But its different he calls her sexy and tells her how great her butt looks in jeans and how amazing her legs are when she wears a dress - she knows its all flattery but it works…or it worked. She knew Kurt would not go for having Brody move in with them, she expected that but it felt nice to take charge for once.

Its a couple nights later while she's lying in bed with Brody snoring lightly beside her that she realizes that the power of controlling the outcome of her and Brody's relationship kind of got to her head. He stays in her bed but she doesn't sleep with him, it feels wrong the moment he tries to put his hand up her shirt. She shoots him down every night. He tells her its not about sex but she can see it kind of is and for a moment she feels flattered again but then…..

She wakes up one morning and sees Brody sitting shirtless at the table drinking coffee and reading the paper - Kurt's having a hard time keeping his eyes off Brody's chest and she suddenly gets this overwhelming feeling to tell Brody to leave. So she does.

"You need to move out," she says, "you can't live here anymore." She grabs her coffee and walks away.

She goes into the shower a few minutes later and when gets out he's gone and so is all of his stuff. Kurt doesn't say anything to her, he's mad at her for some sing off they had against each other a few days ago.

She wants to care about it but it just seems so petty to her - this is the way Kurt is when he wants something as bad as she does. Its the same reason he tricked her into dressing up for Finn and why she threw the Presidential ballot so Kurt could win. If she didn't love him as much as she did she'd be mad but she gets it and that's why she let's him cool off on his own.

It takes some time but one night when she's trying to figure out what to wear to Ms Pillsbury wedding, he walks by her room and tells her to wear the long sleeve purple dress and keep her hair slightly curled with little make up. She smiles and thanks him. Its as good as an apology on both their parts. The next day things go back to the way they were.

She still see's Brody, she'd say they are still friends - he doesn't seem so mad about what happened but she does make it clear that whatever was between them is not there anymore. He asks her if its because she didn't want him to come to the wedding. She laughs before she realizes that he's serious. She gets to the point.

"You're not a part of that life and you don't need to be there." She's firm and he seems taken aback by it but she thinks he finally gets it.

Things go back to normal Cassie still picks on her every class and she makes sure to partner with someone other then Brody when Cassie has them in the class. She actually feels better after every class because she refuses Cassie to get to her - she almost misses it one day when she actually compliments Rachel. She still calls her Schwimmer but it's a simple, "Good work today Schwim," as Rachel is packing up. She'll take it.

She's excited to be in Lima and seeing her dad's. They gush over her hair and her clothes and like typical parents tell her she needs to eat more. She actually feels tears come to her eyes and the sincerity of their words. They flew in a day before the wedding so there isn't a lot of time to catch up with everyone.

Santana still plans something but only for the Original glee club members. It's low key but no one makes a fuss. Finn arrives late after going through rehearsal at the Church. He says a quick hello to everyone, even sending Rachel a small smile before sitting down at the other end of the table across from Puck.

Sleeping in her old bed feels weird but also comforting at the same time. She doesn't sleep much, she can't tell if its nerves for the wedding or because she'll be seeing Finn. She arrives at the Church with Santana and Quinn who suddenly become the best versions of Catholic School girls, its eerie.

The ceremony is beautiful, the vows especially. She can't help but look at Finn while Will rattles off his words of love to Emma. The whole thing almost seems like dejavu, except they never made it to the actual church, both times. Its bittersweet but mostly heartbreaking, especially when she thinks about what her life could've been like had they actually gotten married.

It's Santana who knocks her out of her stupor with a firm look that basically says, 'don't go all whinny Berry on me now,' Rachel just nods her head back.

Finn's best man speech almost kills her - its too thoughtful and full of love. Its to perfect and she hates herself for wishing the words were spoken to her and about her. She spends most of the night siting at the table chatting with Sam and Brittany - but her mind can't keep up with everything those two say and she's certain some of it is in code.

She's about to excuse herself from Brittany and Sam when Finn appears at her side. "Do you…wanna dance with me?" He sounds as unsure as she feels, but she takes his hand anyways.

Mercedes is crooning away on the mic, Will and Emma are dancing along side her as are Blaine and Kurt who are very obviously intoxicated. Finn wraps his arms easily around her and if any of them were paying attention they'd notice that they way they're dancing is not the way two people who were once engaged but have gone through a really horrible break up, would dance.

Her head rests on his chest right by his heart just like always. "You look beautiful," Finn whispers. Her stomach actually drops when she realizes she doesn't even know the last time someone, besides him, has called her beautiful. It certainly wasn't Brody - she was sure his vocabulary, while limited, never consisted of that word.

She thanks him while blushing and tells him his best man speech was perfect and so beautiful. Its his turn to blush as he shrugs off the compliment. Its comfortable just leaning against him while they dance and before she can stop herself she's telling him how much she misses him. He returns the sentiment and for the rest of the night she's got a dance partner.

She catches the bouquet and he gets the guarder. They send each other a look that ends up being the precursor to how the night ends. The party winds down at 1:30 and everyone is either really intoxicated or just too sober to do anything else then sleep.

Except her and Finn. As soon as they enter the room Finn's got her pinned to the door and his lips on her's. His lips trace up and down her neck and his hands kneed at her waist. She pulls to hard on his hair and practically rips open his shirt to get to some skin. They have sex, actually real sex. Its hard and fast and kind of sloppy but familiar at the same time. She barely catches her breath before he rolls on top of her this time taking her with his mouth.

They make love the second time - there is really no other way to describe it. He spends what feels like hours exploring her body with his lips, he remembers her favorite spots, the ones that make her moan the moment he gets near them. This time when he enters her its slow and his eyes never leave hers. He whispers how beautiful she is and she can't help but feel how perfect this moment is. The feeling of his warm body on hers is so familiar that she has to close her eyes to keep the tears at bay.

They go for round three in the shower spending way too much time washing each others hard to reach area's and she's never admitted to Finn before but being taken by him against the shower wall is one of her favorite positions - something about their height difference has always turned her on. They fall asleep with hands entwined between them.

The next morning isn't really that awkward - they were always good at being intimate with each other that it feels too familiar to be anything other then right. They're lying face to face when he asks her about New York.

"It's good - big." she smiles, "filled with lots of people."

He nods his head, "and classes, still kicking butt?" he sends her a teasing smile.

She blushes, "I'd hardly say I am kicking butt," she pauses. "It's hard and my dance teacher hates me but it's still everything I wanted. Well almost everything."

He doesn't ask her about the 'almost' he knows what she means. Coaching the New Directions is fun and he loves it but he knows something is missing too. He tries to be casual when he asks her if she's meant some interesting people. She knows what he's digging for and she can't help but smile a little.

"No one important." is all she says and he smiles big before leaning in for a kiss.

She wants to asks him to come to New York with everything that just happened she feels that its right, that they could really make it work this time. But they get interrupted when Santana starts banging on the door yelling for them to get dressed, because she wants to get out of this 'hick town'.

She doesn't say what she wants too and she thinks maybe Finn will say something but he doesn't either. They all go out to breakfast before Santana, Kurt and Rachel board the plane back to New York.

He kisses her and tells her to have a good flight and that he wants them to start keeping in touch, for real this time. She agrees and just before she gets in the car she turns back to him.

"Come to New York." She doesn't want to sound desperate but really she doesn't care.

He sighs, "I can't Rachel." she nods her head sadly and gets into Santana's car. She's heartbroken again and they don't ask her if she's okay because they know that will warrant a discussion that all three of them are avoiding.

When they enter the apartment Rachel is instantly hit with how lonely it suddenly feels, like for the first time its missing something. She doesn't say anything to Finn when he calls a couple days later. She tells him New York hasn't changed since she's been gone and its actually comforting but also incredibly sad.

Cassandra is particularly harsh to her during classes that week, she finds out through the other girls in her class that Brody turned her down and she's been reeling ever since.

Finn calls her the day that both Lima and New York get hit with a pretty bad snow storm, she's sitting on the floor against her bed reading over some sheet music. Their conversation gets put on hold when Finn's mom walks into his room with his laundry. When she hears whose on the phone Rachel is met with rustling before Carole comes on the line. They talk for 10 minutes before Finn orders her to give him his phone back. The whole time Rachel is trying and failing to keep her tears at bay.

"Sorry about that, she's gone now." Finn says - she can hear his bedroom door closing.

She remains quiet on the line, "come to New York Finn." He's the one that's quiet now.

"Rach…." Is all he gets out before he can hear her crying softly on the other line.

"Please Finn, please just come to New York." Her tears become a silent cry. "You'll love it here, I'll…I'll do whatever I have to, to make New York right for you Finn, I promise."

"Rach…It's not that simple, you know that." He can't see her and really wishes that he could. He wants to hold her and he wants to be in New York but he can't be.

"Please, please Finn please.." her please trail off into sobs and he doesn't even try to wipe the tears that he knows are falling down his cheek.

"Rachel listen to me okay." He hears her hiccuping, "I want….I want to be in New York with you, I want You. But not…not right now. I need to figure some stuff out first okay?" He's pleading with her.

"just give me some time okay, I just need more time." She barely whispers her okay before she hangs up the phone. Santana comes into her room 10 minutes later and wordlessly sits down beside her and holds her hand. She doesn't ask what she's doing but she can figure out that Finn called Santana and told her what happened.

It makes her happy to be able to actually call Santana her friend. Especially two weeks later when she finds out that Finn is seeing someone, Kurt won't tell her who it is just that Finn met someone and he wants to see where it goes. Santana leaves without a word and returns 20 minutes later with a bottle of wine and a tub of vegan ice cream. Its the worst combination ever but its just bitter enough to mask her pain.

She doesn't hate him for moving on, she did. She dated and it was a failure but that's because she was expecting something from Brody that she knew he couldn't give her. She and Finn still talk a couple days a week - this time he's the one to tell her it didn't work out with the girl he was seeing and she tells him that she's sorry, because she is - because she knows how hard it is to try and move on when your head wants to but your heart refuses.

He comes to visit in March while McKinley is on March break and they have a lot of fun, just being together. Nothing happens with them, he shares her bed and they end up cuddled together most mornings and for Rachel its actually perfect.

Waking up and seeing him sitting at the kitchen table with the paper and coffee is her favorite sight that New York has had to offer. The night before he leaves they're lying in bed together - she's reading over her sheet music and he's searching song choices for Regional's. The feeling is so domestic and familiar that she can't help it.

"Finn," she whispers. He turns towards her and takes off his glasses that he only wears in private or only with her, "stay in New York." He sighs but smiles at her anyways.

"Soon." he says as he leans over and gives her a kiss. She blushes and goes back to her sheet music. Its not perfect but for now it works.


End file.
